Okay, so I haven’t posted in a while, and it may seem like I may have gone down the rails. That however, isn’t the case. I’ve pretty much been successful (in this week, there are still chances of me going astray). There are so many different things that I’ve learnt during this week, right from controlling myself to the emotional turmoil that is caused when you start to avoid binge eating. When you are a binger, food is basically your do all and get all. When you stop looking to food as a means of your emotional satisfaction, there is a huge void in your life that you don’t know how to fill.
To begin with, you don’t know what to do with all that time. Eating less makes you feel weak (even though you are just getting accustomed to not bingeing) and at the same time, the amount of time you spent bingeing now seems hollow. Take these two scenarios.
I used to go out on a walk almost every day. On the way there is a multitude of fast food joints and while returning from my walk I used to make sure I gorged on whatever I could. Soon the walks just became just another excuse to eat. I used to set out of the house with money in my hand looking forward to that biting into the various foods I craved. This of course, was all part of the drive.
The second scenario is the present, where I pretty much am actively trying to avoid the binge. When I go for a walk now I have nothing to look forward to. As a result, I tend to enjoy the walk less, which directly results in the duration of the walks getting lesser and lesser. I get bored very soon. You see, the whole intent of the walk has been removed. Now it’s just a regular walk. And who wants to just walk right?
Wrong. These are one of the first things that you might face when you decide to avoid the binge. There are so many events in your life that you will realize, were just centered around food, or were an excuse for you to binge. All those things will now seem hollow. That is why you have to think of other things to fill up this void. I, for one, picked music and reading, and of course, a strenuous workout every day.
The second thing that you will begin to feel is an emotional void. Everything around you will start to change as the brain fog just melts away. I was left with a lot of questions this week.
- What am I doing with my life?
- What are my goals?
- Is she even attracted to me anymore?
- Why can’t I just have a normal metabolism?
- Am I a good human being?
- What is the point of all this?
You’ll get moody, and very angry with yourself. People around you will try to take this as a laughing matter and even eat in front of your face. They will talk about your disorder like it’s not that big of a deal. ‘Just control yourself’ is what they’ll say.
There is just one key to success here, and that is motivation. Thanks to the internet today, motivation does not need to come from within. It has to, but in the initial stages chances are that it won’t. So you just have to think about one question amongst all of the ones above.
What is your goal?
I have chalked out a goal for myself now. I don’t want to lose weight anymore. I want to lose body fat. I am at 27% body fat right now. my goal is to go down to 12%.
I have that goal now, and I have so many people on YouTube who are constantly putting up videos on how they did it. The plus point about that is that you learn a lot. The second thing you get is a lot of motivation. Just keep doing what you’re doing every single day without thinking about it. If you are on the road to quit bingeing, keep a few healthy snacks by your side. I went out today to shop and got myself a lot of health snacks like protein bars and protein chips. They were a little expensive, but I saved up.
I carry a protein bar with me. You can even carry something as cheap as a banana and have that.
The thing to remember is, there is a very easy process when you think about bingeing that you can follow. Here it is.
Take a deep breath, and focus on your inhale and exhale. Breathe again. Slowly. Slow down your breaths as your progress and have a keen focus on your breath. Notice how your chest inflates and deflates with every breath. Do this for an entirety of 2 minutes. Once that is done just ask yourself:
Is this really worth it?
Do I really need this binge right now?
Is there any way I can work around it?
You should be fine. Just hang in there. Temptations are the worst mainly because people around a binge eater do not take his or her problem very seriously. But you can’t expect them to. They do not know what you’re going through. To them it’s just a person who ate a lot and now doesn’t want to eat. You are alone in this. Take responsibility, don’t be scared. Be aware, go online, get knowledge and take steps.
Take action. Now. You can do it. I believe in you.