Day 4 and Day 5 : How Binge eating gets to you

I’m sorry I couldn’t post yesterday. It was a long day and so was today. I really want to keep a tab on all my workouts so here goes.

Yesterday was back and bis and I kicked ass in it. I not only ran for 20 mins before the workout, I also managed to run 15 mins later and in between I lifted like a bull. It was the single most moment in quite some time that I felt the surge of adrenaline and the happiness that comes with the afterglow of working out. Puppies and rainbows, everyone.

Anywho, today was a rest day and I didn’t really workout. My entire body is aching. It feels like I was in a stampede and I barely survived. As I continue on with my 5th day from binge eating, I am beginning to notice a few things. The first is the fact that I have a LOT of time and mental emptiness at hand. Let me explain. When I was bingeing, the only thought in my mind was about the next thing I wanted to eat. When I was bored that is all I thought about. After a hard day’s work, that is what I used to look forward to.

Today I finished an 8 hour writing sessions (work) on my computer and as soon as I was done, I realized I didn’t know what I was going to do next. Was I going to eat? No becuase I had just eaten a few hours ago. I didn’t feel like doing much and was super bored for two hours until I finally decided to go for a walk and while away time till the next meal. I know what most people will say. Get an activity, or something you like. But this will take some time and getting used to.

The other thing I want to talk about is the hunger. I don’t know if it is my body or my mind revolting, but I’m feeling more hungry than I ever did before. I eat a meal (a substantial one) and an hour later I’m still hungry. I guess I’m either metabolizing things faster or I’m mentally trying to reject the whole abstinence thing. Either ways, I am motivated enough to go all the way.

I do confess, I did overeat yesterday, but only by a bit, and almost all of it was home-made healthy food. Brown rice, pulses, and the like are  a staple part of my diet now. The good news is that I’ve managed to keep my eating and fasting windows accurately maintained both the days.

Tomorrow is the mark of a brand new week. I will be starting all over again. There is so much to do. However, I have to bear in mind to keep writing. I cannot just give up again.This is the part of the commitment I made. I also promised myself that after I cross the 2-week threshold of working out without a single stop, I will make it a point to integrate the whole mental workout into the regime. I want to start studying again for my higher studies, so I hope to get that started as well. The one thing that binge eating does to you is it makes your brain all foggy and you can’t manage to think straight. I am managing to get some clarity in thought and self-control.

However, I’m not going to get too ahead of myself. Patience and consistency. Patience and consistency. COME ON I CAN DO THIS!!!

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